When I try to write up something after a hash weekend, I have a hard time because there has been so much drinking and brain cell killing that I can barely form sentences any more! Donnie left after work Thursday night to head up to FU Knave's house for a Knuckledragger pre-lube. Before he even left he had to call Gaylord to walk him through jump starting his bike. He made it up there for the party without any other incidents. They partied and I guess sang karaoke til the wee hours of the morning.
Just Tony and I packed up and headed out on Friday afternoon. The drive up wasn’t too bad; we just hit a little traffic in Dallas and Denton. Once we got outside of Denton, Tony and I switched and he took over the driving. At the gas station in Sanger, we met Boomhower and his hick cousin. They spoke some language that I don’t think has any relationship to English…it was hilarious!!!
We showed up at the campsite and were greated by Not So Silent Bob, Nuthin’ but Net and DTR. I was handed some Boone’s farm and Thunderbird from Nacheaux…it tasted so good on my lips! Tents were set up and we were near the Knuckledragger compound…Knave set up the disco tent which was great!
That night a band played and Tony requested Free Bird probably 200 times! There was drinking and revelry. At one point Net looked over to Piggus and decided to puke on Piggus. He was the first. Then Piggus decided to return the favor and puke on Net. It made me gag. It was chunky. Ass Gagger gagged too…
The Border Jumpers and Kimchi group headed back up to the compound where Knave was DJ ing. It helped keep us warm! Both Tony and Gaylord were holding onto tent poles to keep from falling over! Lots of Hennessey and Beam was drunk and I think I had a lot of Yucca and Jell-O Shots!
Saturday…
We woke up and headed down to a yummy breakfast of cold eggs and tortillas. I went and took a nap and while I napped I believe a game of Croquet occurred as well as Hash Olympics. I decided a nap wasn’t worth sweating in a tent so I got up and went to play some kickball with the group. Our team won!! It was the Donnie the Retard team versus FU Knave’s team. Raisin Smuggler was our pitcher and we rocked!
Then lunch happened. White bread with some mustard and American cheese.
The groups that decided to actually hash were gone. Gaylord, Nacheaux and Piggus did the ball buster trail.
Not So Silent Bob busted out the Sweet Tea Vodka and Gagger, Xena and I started drinking the “tea”. We ended up playing 3 man for awhile with Death By Dildo, Wet Spot, Bob, Xena and others. However, because of the sweet drinks and beer on the table, we got attacked by bees. Wet Spot ended up stepping on one but she kept playing!
Nuthin’ but Net decided to pass out on the stage.
Cockeye and him wrestled for awhile getting out some of their homosexual tendencies.
Gaylord came back from trail dripping with blood down his legs. He said the trail sucked and was only about 3-4 miles.
The group sang some Journey on stage…first it was air guitars then we had Guitar Hero guitars. Donnie sang Double Vision and rocked it!
We had a contra-circle run by Gay Ho, Slut Slinger and McPisser. Woo woo!
Since we hadn’t eaten much over the last couple of days, Gaylord, Donnie, Tony and I headed to town to get some Dairy Queen. While we were gone, they started the Flip Cup Tournament without us…our team decided to go forward using stand-ins…Gagger was my stand in and she did great! We showed up after a couple of rounds and they decided to allow us to be inserted back in. We beat one team and then faced the Border Jumpers in the Finals.
The Border Jumpers were tough competitors but they couldn’t compete against the amazing team of SUCK MY BALLS, who were wearing pink headbands. We have now won two years in a row…suck it! The team was Donnie the Retard, McPisser, Massive Slut Slinger, Baby G, C’em Cumming and ESPN…
Just Tony didn’t get to play in his first Flip Cup tournament even though he had practiced!
Skunkweed took the stage and Mr and Mrs Texas Interhash were named.
Net passed out a few times.
We thought the name “The Cock Whisperer” would be good for just Tony…He IS the Pack Leader”.
Guam and Donnie told stories about getting in fights and how the short guys are always harder to fight then the big guys…big guys fall harder.
I ended up crashing but everyone else went up to Knave’s tent again to dance. I guess Net let them draw on him with sharpies while he was dancing.
Sunday….
Woke up, had pancakes and The Knuckledraggers had their circle. I got called out for crashing into Donnie and Gaylord’s bikes in our garage last year. Gagger found her missing Mug…he had lots of friends on hash space. Gaylord got called into circle for loosing a check and for sending Net a check with Pubes in the envelope. Tony got named. Stories were told and they ended up naming him Cockter Spork because he and Net spooned (sporked) at night in their tent. Knave gave him his own hand signal and we sang Old McDonald. The only other name we thought of was the Cock Whisperer.
We headed out after the circle, Cockter Spork and I were in the car and Donnie rode his bike back. We had some rough winds but we made it home about 6 pm.
Next year, the Knuckledraggers are putting on Interhash…watch out!!!
I miss you all! Here is the link for my pictures…
http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=291817592/a=77974258_77974258/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfishFlip Cup Tournament Video
